Eine Kleine Nacht-Blogging

お久しぶりですね!

Winter quarter is upon us, and with it comes copious amounts of snow. Time off of class due to snow is nice, but it only serves to further distance me from my classes. I mean, it's weird - I'm taking a host of tough classes, but I've yet to be consumed by them. I don't have tons of homework, all-nighters or fretfully evenings spent at the computer. It's so different from every other quarter of classes I've ever taken and I often find myself wondering if I'm doing something wrong, but no amount of thinking can reveal any deficiencies. So I'm going to have to adjust and enjoy it - after all, spring quarter might be even worse.

So that brings me to what I mean to be the meat of this post: the end is near. I will very soon be out of school and into a different world. It isn't a frightening thought, but it is one that often worms its way into my brain uninvited. So the best thing I can do at this point is to ask myself how I intend to make the best of it.

Graduation entails several things:

A change in living situation.
Starting a new job. (*fingers crossed*)
The repayment of student loans.
Taking on full financial independence.
Being separated from close friends.
The opportunity to create my own space.
The opportunity to pursue a serious relationship.
An opportunity to purchase my own pet.

That's what comes to mind right now anyway. I guess just getting it all out there makes it easier to think about. Anyway, I have to come to grips with making my own way in the world now. It's something I've had some practice in, but I am going to have to be careful not to simply coast along. If I leave Cincinnati I need to make my new location my home. I have to get out there and see things...meet people. I have to keep on top of my finances and be organized - there will be many things to take care of. I have to continue to develop as a person even when my job does not demand it. And of course, it is of great importance that I stay in touch with my friends.

You know, we've all been through a lot together. I really wonder if some people have any clue how much they mean to me. Since I'm bad at articulating my feelings to people, sometimes things I think are obvious get lost in translation. On other occasions I delay my messages in fear of not saying the right things and end up just taking forever, which is rude. I have to work on this sort of thing.

On a side note, I think my first major vacation is going to be to London. The other day I just found myself thinking how I really need to get over there and see England. I don't know why, but it seems like the thing to do. So I'll do it.

Either fortunately or unfortunately I also miss Japan a lot. Not a day passes that the times I spent there don't come to mind. I miss going out drinking with my sempai from work. I miss walking around Asakusa and just taking in the sights, riding the crazy crowded trains, sitting down for yaki-niku with people, getting annoyed at clueless tourists, working my hardest EVERY DAY to learn the frickin' language - and relishing the moments when it paid off! I miss talking and playing Go with Murakami-san, breaking the language barrier down with Harada-san, talking business with Yamada-san and Sakai-san and politics with Tsuchiya-san, and I miss Minami-san always looking out for me. And there's so much more! Ugh, I've split my life into two and now I have to live with it. It's grand but terrible.

So yeah, there's a lot on my mind, but I'm feeling great and very optimistic. Let's see how it all turns out then.

You don't have to like this post; or, thoughts I consider somewhat embarassing but would encourage feedback regarding

My time in Japan has led to the acceleration of many changes in my life. I think that, no matter how this last month goes, I will come away a stronger and more adult person.

Throughout college I've gradually come to some realizations that may or may not be true. When I entered college I was a very innocent person. I was ignorant of many things and timid in many ways. In many ways those "deficiencies" made up the person I was.

For one thing I was under the impression that I could get away with being just an intellectual. All throughout school the thing I relied on most was my intelligence. I prided myself on the prestige that it could bring to me. If my notion of myself as an intellectual had been shattered in those early days, I would have had a lot of trouble. Now, this is not to say that my friends liked me because I was smart...I don't even think I thought that. But what I am saying is that it's the only thing I considered worthwhile about myself. I saw myself as being kind and smart, but also uncool, timid, and fat. Kind doesn't put food on the table, so smart got all of the credit.

College, over time, defeated in me the notion that I was a person for whom "intelligent" could serve as an acceptable label. I began to realize that a good portion of my success was actually because I cared about people and generally tried to think about their needs and situations. I also realized that making and sticking to goals is a huge part of succeeding. I'm probably in the lower half of all engineers in pure intelligence and work ethic, but I'm not quitting, so I'll make it.

Also, before coming to college I believe (and now comes the part where I admit that hindsight isn't really 20/20) that I honestly saw all people in the same way. I treated everyone equally and I wanted to apply my standards to everyone. I'm not saying that I don't still believe that everyone deserves the same rights and respect, but I am saying that not everyone can be treated the same way.

Allow me to clarify that previous point. Now, as most of you know, I've had a pretty tight-knit group of friends for most of my life, one way or another. Among these friends there were both boys and girls. I had always felt that the gender of my friends is 100% irrelevant. I told the same secrets and talked the same way to everyone. Even when my mother objected to us all spending the night together as a group, I never understood the reasons for her feelings. It was a complete non-issue.

In college, one of my classes was Human Diversity. It was here that I was informed of my misunderstanding. A question was posed to the class: Do you tell the same secrets to your friends who are girls as the friends who are guys (or something to that effect)? For me the answer was an obvious and resounding "Yes!" I was shocked when I was literally the only person who answered that way. I had never perceived that things should be otherwise. What assumptions of mine were incorrect? The girls didn't trust their guys friends to understand their true feelings and problems because they have totally different life experiences. Many guys would never feel comfortable opening up to a girl for fear of appearing weak. It became obvious that I was oblivious to many things. Neither of those points and the countless other reasons ever occurred to me.

Later in college, I realized that this carried over into other areas. I didn't tone things down for anyone; appropriate behavior dictates that I be more careful around certain people. I've since been told that, because of my style of conversation, some people feel intimidated by me - "I'm speaking too much like an intellectual". Other people have told me that I need to hold back on my willingness to debate a point - even when I think I'm being friendly and engaging in a grand conversation. I never mean to alienate anyone - I want to know what they think and why they think it. I want to make myself understood. But to truly be understood, I must consider the receiver more carefully. My one-size-fits-all philosophy, although perhaps beautiful for its zealous egalitarianism and praised by my more like-minded friends is, quite simply, not the best route.

All of this came to a head with a relationship I had in college. I not going to name names though. But, as I tried to understand this person and the way they responded to me, I realized that my usual straightforward style simply wouldn't cut it...and sometimes there are things that, although not really impolite or socially unacceptable, you simply just don't say. The whole "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" schtick, which I had for the longest time considered antiquated and anti-equality, actually had a grain of truth to it. This was a hard pill to swallow.

Coming to Japan has also taught me to value my physical appearance more. Since my middle school days I'd pretty much given up on being at all good looking or physically fit (to a point). I'd been made fun of so much about my weight that I considered it a lost cause; something I had to compensate for but could do nothing about. In that same vein, I disregarded fashion as something beyond my comprehension. I sometimes even took pride in having no fashion sense, seeing it as a reflection of my transcendence above such follies. The only time I ever wanted to look good was the summer of 2005-before and after that I had no motivation.

Only now am I realizing how much this has been a foolish path. A friend of my boss' admitted to me Sunday night that, upon meeting me, he judged me as a "round" person. In that way, I was seen as somewhat "dull". But now that I've lost some weight he sees me as a "sharp" person. Much more competent. Even one of my closest friends, Ryan, although he would never admit it about me, has commented how a classmate who was such a "butterball" at the beginning of college had really gotten things together. How do you think I sit on that rubric? Does it really not matter to you?

Also, being in Tokyo has truly made me notice how much effort some people put into their clothing. The old saying "Clothes make the man" always meant to me, "dress well to look professional". As long as I looked professional and clean, I'd be in the clear. Not truly. Most people judge you on how you dress and your physical appearance, almost immediately after they see you. To be more accepted I have to have more style. Look at my friends - they all have a style. What's mine? The no style style. That can't cut it.

I've never been successful with women. Now, I am 90% sure it isn't really about "confidence"; it's about how I present myself. The confidence stuff is a euphemism. It isn't the posture and talk; it's a presence that is strongly influenced by physical fitness and fashion. A dear friend of mine - a genuine, intelligent, and kind person, was actually turned down by a girl, in her own words, because he is "overweight". Her loss, right? Yes, but that's not much of a consolation to my friend. You see it everywhere. I was willfully blind for a long time - now I'm determined not to fall under that umbrella anymore.

Some of you reading this might be unhappy with this post. I envision thoughts like, "When did Jacob get so vain?"; "Man, he sure is jaded"; "What, you don't think of all people equally anymore!?" (not true in the way you mean it); "Is he depressed? Where did this come from?"...you get the picture. But I don't think any of these thoughts are true...except maybe the second one. I love my friends in the same way, and the close ones are still in a circle above the general populace...but I recognize that all people aren't going to connect with me in the same way. I'm not out to judge people and I'm not condemning anyone either. In the end, I ask you to not take anything I say here in the wrong way; please judge me by the way I treat you. This is just a slight shift in the way I see the world. Hopefully, it will bring me health, fulfillment, and further growth.

At the same time, I'm interested in your thoughts. Vigorous debate is still something I enjoy. Then again, I bet 5 people at max read this blog. Cheers.

Reflections

Learning Japanese has been a continuing struggle for me. I began my study of the language last August, almost as a complete beginner. My skill was limited to a fragmented knowledge hiragana, the numerals one to ten and several words and phrases I gleaned from watching anime in Japanese. That is to say, I was next to clueless. Since then I’ve made a lot of progress. From the time I arrived in Japan last August and continuing through my studies under Nishida sensei at UC, I’ve been very fortunate to have a lot of support from my teachers and my fellow students. My ability has slowly increased to the point where hiragana and katakana are easily understood and my knowledge of kanji expands every day. My vocabulary and grammar skills have also made a quantum leap since August. And yet, I have so much left to learn. It is frightening sometimes to think that, after nearly 10 months of study, I’m still so far away from fluency – from being able to sit down over coffee and read the newpaper in Japanese. Right now it takes me an hour and a half with my kanji dictionary to read one article. Heck, we don’t even have to be that ambitious; I had to study to go get a haircut!

Someone once told me that, when learning a foreign language, there comes a time when you crest the mountain and are able to pick things up at a much faster pace. I took this to heart and made it my goal to climb the mountain in order to secure my path to fluency. But every time I think I’ve reached top, I come to realize that the summit still lies far above. I’m seriously beginning to doubt that such a point exists. Perhaps in learning Japanese the summit of the mountain is fluency. In the end it is of little consequence – my eyes are still on the summit and my legs are still strong (forgive me for carrying out my metaphor to the bitter end).

But my language studies have done more than simply teach me Japanese, they’ve challenged me to make every day a learning experience and to look more closely at the world around me; to consider more carefully my interactions with others and to open my eyes to another culture that, I have come to realize, I had not truly understood, even on a basic level. In fact, still don’t think I’ve chipped off much of that iceberg! I’ve also made many wonderful new friends in my travels and studies. Before last August I could never have imagined the diverse group of people I’ve been fortunate enough to meet. I become more aware every day that there are kind people to be found all over the world...and at home as well. As other people reach out to me in kindness, I feel that, not only do I want to reciprocate that gesture, I want to do the same thing for new people.

When I say “struggle”, perhaps that creates a negative image in your head; that would be a grave misunderstanding. But learning Japanese has been, and continues to be, a struggle – a struggle against myself, against my own laziness, fear and pride. It has also been an adventure. I look forward to what it will send my way in the future.

Nostalgia Blog - Things I Remember

I remember when I lived on Ohio Ave in Cincinnati with Ryan. It was my first place out of the dorms and I loved it. Ryan was a solid roommate and since we were both Chemical Engineers, we were able to motivate each other and help each other out in class. I remember when Fallout 3 came out, Ryan would sit and play it. He refused to use the targeting system, relying on his own skill. A wise choice, because he could snipe across valleys with ease. I remember the dark room and the blue couch. I remember laughing.

I remember the neighbors next door. They were the dirtiest people imaginable. Since they continually had people over, I could never be sure who actually lived in the house. One night, they woke me up at 2:00 in the morning with their noise and music. I had a big test the next morning and needed my rest. They played the bongo drums until the cops came at 3:30. I was furious...but I had to admit to myself that their beats were pretty good. The test was mediocre.

I remember sleeping with just a sheet, the window thrown open, and my giant fan on. The apartment was so hot. I'd never been in an apartment like that. Sometimes I'd wake up at night just from the heat. I loved it. I loved that I was being challenged. Those hot nights are pleasant memories.

I remember coming home from a night out with friends, drunk. I stumbled around the apartment, allowing myself to collapse on the bed. When I woke up, I had to lay there just to stop the world from spinning. After an hour, I put on sunglasses and went to Panera for orange juice and a bagel. I was happy.

I remember the Halloween party that Michelle convinced me to go to. I didn't even have a costume, but I went anyway. I stayed for a record 5 minutes until some losers started smoking pot. I hate the smell; it gives me a headache, so I went downstairs. Not long after, a huge fight broke out between a dude in a banana suit and a guy in a toga. They toppled a trash can full of glass and fought in it. The girl downstairs asked me what was going on and called the cops. Getting the inside story, I got my group out. We ended up chilling at the apartment. There were barely enough seats.

I remember Ryan sleeping with his window/door open, even in the freezing cold, because he liked it that way. It was too cold for Jayna though, and they always fought for covers.

I remember when we went to Jungle Jim's and then made bananas foster - Ryan and I loved that dessert. I remember the joy of eating together with friends.

I remember when I left for co-op, only to realize I'd left my boots back in Cincy. After work on Monday I drove straight to Cincinnati, only to realize that I'd actually left them in Huber Heights, at home. I drove up I-75, got my boots, finally had dinner and then drove all the way back to West Virginia for work the next day. The money I spent on gas could have bought me new boots, and driving for 8 hours was a challenge, but I don't regret a thing.

I remember when Max told us about Dog Fish Head - 90 Minute IPA and Ryan and I went out and bought some at Party Source. We took it back to the apartment, let it chill, and tried it. At the time, it was the most bitter beer I had ever tasted. It was like drinking charcoal, I thought. Both Ryan and I noted how "hardcore" it was. Neither of us really liked it. I ended up drinking the rest of the case though, over the coming days. Nowadays, I realize how good that stuff is.

I remember working on Fluids and Basic Strength of Materials at my desk, my room illuminated only by the floor lamp. Ryan would work at the kitchen table, even though he had a desk in his room, and we would compare answers. Together we fixed our mistakes and learned. I doubt I'll ever have a comrade like that again.

I miss the old days, but I don't want to go back. I'm moving forward, making new memories. But please forgive this entry and allow me to...remember.

Tokyo Drifting

I feel a little bad playing off of the name of a movie I have no interest in for the title of my new blog post, but it seemed like a pretty good fit, so forgive me. It's been an extremely busy time since my last entry, so, barring a creative meltdown, you should have some interesting things to read about.

So, my last entry ended with us just about to head off to Mt. Takao with Roger and the guys, so I'll just start from there. First off, Mt. Takao is a great place off the beaten path in Tokyo. It's only about an hour away by train and the fares are extremely reasonable. Roger told us about it; it is one of his favorite places. I was happy that he was willing to share with us like that and we were all excited to go. Once we'd arrived we were immediately struck with how different this part of "Tokyo" was. Although vending machines were still everywhere, much of the traffic and noise of the city was lost. Instead, trees, small shops and shrines dominated our view. After taking a moment to get acquainted with our surroundings, Roger took the lead and we started up the beginner trail. It was a surprisingly tough climb up the mountain for me. The first third of the journey, although beautiful, is somewhat obscured in my memory by the massive effort required for me to continue walking. Still, the air was fresh and the people were friendly.

After a while, we finally reached an area where the grade was less steep and I began to enjoy myself a little more. Roger and I had good conversations about history and our lives as we enjoyed the beauty of the countryside. Akira and Andrew took a lot of grand photographs and kept us entertained with their antics. There were several places where the view of the city below was breath-taking. Finally, we reached the shrine. The first thing you see when you approach the shrine area is a massive Torii gate and a long path lined with Japanese style lantern boxes. As you progress, you eventually reach a grand stone staircase, all the while catching glimpses of the shrines above you through the trees.

The shrine buildings were certainly a site to behold - the detail and thought that was put into the architecture is readily apparent, and the many statues surrounding the building create an aura of mysticism that I have seldom experienced. Eventually, Roger had to leave us to meet his wife and we began the final leg of our journey: the climb to the summit. It wasn't so bad, but by the time we reached the top we were extremely thirsty, so we stopped at a vending machine and got drinks. After downing our drinks, we went out to the overlook to see if we could spot Mt. Fuji in the distance. Unfortunately, it was obscured by the mist...but it was a grand view anyway.



And so, feeling victorious, we headed down the mountain, stopping for ice cream along the way. By the time we got halfway down, there were absolutely no lights and night was upon us, so we proceeded carefully in the dark. It was a lot of fun. The train ride home was quiet; we were all quite tired.

The next day was slightly less strenuous, but did see us heading out on another adventure. We went to a Japanese clothing store to attempt the dye our own towels and handkerchiefs with natural indigo dye. It was especially challenging because the store owner only spoke Japanese and we had no translator. However, we made it through alright and our cloth came out quite nicely. Went to Shibuya with our friends from Taiwan afterwords to do some shopping. I left a little early because I was tired and we had all kinda split up anyway.

Friday was set to be another big day because I was meeting my language partner in Harajuku after walking through Meiji-Jingu with Roger. Meiji-jingu is a park dedicated to the memory of the Emperor Meiji and is a most excellent place for a walk indeed. It also has a incredible Torii and shrine along with a peaceful tree-lined paths. Apparently, it has a distinct sort of beauty in every season. I'd like to go back to see it in each of its forms. I've unfortunately lost my videos concerning it, but since I plan on going back it is okay. If I had to choose one place to visit in Tokyo, it would probably be there. I feel like it just resonated with me, somewhat like Ueno did. Also, I really enjoyed talking with Roger...not to mention reaping the benefits of his knowledge of Japan. I give him my heartfelt thanks.

After our walk, I went to wait for my language partner, Tomoko, while Roger went home. Tomoko is another one of the excellent people I have been fortunate enough to be introduced to while in Japan. We met up, walked around Harajuku, and talked about all sorts of things. For example, she thought it was funny that I knew that Japanese word for right (directional) but not left. Here's kinda how the conversation went:

T: So you know the word for right...why not left?
J: Right is just easier to remember...
T: Left is easy too!
J: Hmm, humph. みぎ and...
T: ...ひだり It is easy to remember.
J: Hahaha, okay, I think I've got it now.

I haven't forgot it since. Another funny story is when I explained to her what the English phrase "pull it off" meant using a hypothetical bank robbery scenario.

J:"Do you think we can pull it off?"
"We're smart and are quick. We can pull it off."

We ended up settling in a cafe and talking about a play. I also had the opportunity to share some of my favorite music with her, i.e., Flogging Molly and Modest Mouse. She was kind enough to listen and seemed to enjoy it. It was an excellent evening.

Saturday was another day of constant motion. I left the apartment early in the morning to meet with Robert, Kurt, and Tyler, the co-ops from UC currently working in Japan, in Shinjuku for a trip to Enoshima and Kamakura. They are all truly excellent individuals and I learned a lot about what living in Japan for an extended period is like from them. Robert was gracious enough to provide me with a ton of useful information about places to go too. Anyway, after reasonable train trip we stepped out, much to my (ignorant as I am) surprise, into a bay-side area. I was overwhelmed by the wonderful sea-breeze.

The short walk to the island of Enoshima was dominated of tales for Robert of climbing Mt. Fuji and hiking through Hokkaido. Upon reaching the island, the adventure really began as we climbed up the steps leading us around the island. Please enjoy this video of Robert explaining the legend behind the island.



On the island I took a lot of great videos of the sea, the cliffs, and the grand buildings. We also ended up inside a cave on the far side of the island where the dragon in the story of the island is supposedly enshrined and then took the path less traveled along the far side of the island to get back. Inside the cave we walked with candles and saw supposedly naturally neon florescent rocks...that really just looked spray-painted. It is a tough call though. The cave was great because it was so cool and there was water dripping everywhere. There were also a ton of old statues lining the paths.

After our island experience we went to Kamakura. We several shrines both big and small and hiked all around following the hiking path. I enjoyed both the company and the architecture. It was great exploring a new place so rich with culture and an array of impressive sites. Perhaps I'll go into a bit more detail later, but I'll at least talk about the Daibutsu now but it was my favorite. This was maybe the third place we went to and it was surrounded by a wall. I paid my two dollars to get in and saw a sight unlike any other.

Here is the video of the Daibutsu 大仏 we saw. When I first saw it appear through the trees I truly realized I was in a foreign land. I must emphasize how very impressed I was by it - I was awestruck.



For those of you who don't want to watch the video I'll say that the Daibutsu is a gigantic statue of Buddha that towers over you while sitting in a peaceful pose.

I'm afraid this entry has gone on too long. But I'll have to do another one soon because there is so very much left to tell. I hope you all enjoyed this one though. Thank you for reading so far! Here's wishing you all the best.

**BONUS VIDEO**



A video of a small amount of the cheering that occurs nearly constantly at Japanese baseball games. Cheers.

The Second Update

Well, I heck of a lot has happened since my last update. The videos I'm posting today though are only about one of them though. Perhaps the coolest thing I've seen so far in Japan is the Kaminarimon and Sensou-ji. That is, the Gate of the Thunder God and the temple Sensou-ji. My goodness was that some amazing architecture. It was a great visual and culture experience and I was certainly happy to be able to take it all in.

For those of you who wanted souvenirs (and some of you who didn't), it is worth mentioning that I picked up some really great things at the Tokyo National Museum. I hope that they meet with your approval. Speaking of the Tokyo National Museum, we went there yesterday (Sunday 16th). It was a generally great time and was comparable to a top notch museum in the states. The one crucial dilemma was that there weren't English translations for some of the objects on display (not that I'd expect there to be, really), but, honestly, they provided a lot more English descriptions than I expected...it was more than enough to give me a feel of what I was looking at. I saw exhibits on Japanese archeology, swords, art, and Buddhism, among others. We also took the English language tour (by volunteers). That was really nice, but I think I liked going on my own more.

After the museum, my friend Akira's father took us out for an authentic Japanese meal. I had so much food! He ordered us tons of great things like, sashimi, tofu, fried tofu, mackerel, roasted miso paste and nuts, cow tongue, and Japanese salad. Of course we also had a round of beers and then Akira's father and I got to drinking sake. We each had three tokkuri in traditional Japanese style. I was pretty much done at that point and we left to go on a walk through Ueno's famous park...that's when he saw an Irish pub. So, I learned how to drink like a Japanese business man and about the interesting life of Akira's father. I must say he was very, very kind to us all. Surprisingly enough I made it home with little trouble and woke up (after sleeping for 10 hours) feeling rested and ready for class. Amazing! Class really did go well today too. We learned how to talk about our families. Good stuff.

Well, I'm doing well here in Japan. We're going to a Tea Ceremony tomorrow, out with our friend Roger on Wednesday, to a clothing making event in Kamagome on Thursday, and then on Friday I am meeting up with my Japanese language partner in Harajuku. Busy times, but good times. I hope you all are going very well back home...or wherever you may be. Cheers.

Here's a video of the Bon Festival we went to over the weekend. I absolutely loved the dancing and stayed after other people had left.

The biggest event of the night was yet to come. Since the festival was far away in Yokohama we took a long time getting back on the train. We arrived Iidabashi station at 12:13AM and made a mad dash, 480m, to catch our train at 12:15. Although I ended up falling down the stairs, hurting my knee, and ripping holes in both of the knees of my pants, we made it...and were promptly kicked out 8 stops into our 16 stop journey since the train's last stop was in Toyocho. That began an adventure of epic proportions: a four hour, >9 mile walk, crossing three rivers, that finally saw us all falling into bed at 4:30 in the morning. My right leg was shot and I had blisters like you wouldn't believe, but it was an experience unlike any other. There is no better way to learn a city than to walk it, and let's just say we got to know a good bit of Tokyo and Ichikawa that night. Good times and lots of good stories. Cooper got a lot of it on film with my HD video camera...I'm sure he'll have something worth sharing in the future.

Well, just a short update tonight. I hope you all are well!