I Tried to Be, But I'm Not

I guess this entry has been both a long time coming and both a new revelation. Today my new friend Kirby asked me quite directly why I was in the engineering field. I thought I knew generally why he asked, but I asked him anyway. He said that in many ways the way I present myself leads him to believe that I'm more of a liberal arts sorta guy. He said it was mostly the way I talked and the things I talked about. It may seem strange, but I was flattered. In some ways that is the person I want to be seen as: a liberal arts kinda guy who is successful as an engineer (forgive me if it seems I'm giving myself too much credit). I was fairly happy that someone I had only recently come into contact with got a similar feeling about me. But his question got me thinking about things again.

This is really one of my essential dilemmas. In many ways I feel a major (and subsequently, with any luck, a career) in the liberal arts would be much more suited to my needs and desires as an individual...and indeed, many of my friends from high school have chosen to take paths of that general nature. I won't lie and tell you that on certain occasions I don't envy them on some level. I could have taken that route; I still could. On many I have no doubt it would provide great satisfaction for me if I did take that path.

But I'm not going to go that way, folks (though I still plan on furthering myself in such areas for years to come). I chose my major and future career for several good reasons that continue to hold true. The reason I answered Kirby with is that I recognize that I do have some talent in engineering and I think I could do the most to positively influence the world and the future by pursuing that part of myself. I truly want to work on something that will make life better for the people around me in a significant manner. I want to do as much for the world and for people as I can, while I can. No offense to anyone, but I just don't feel that if I pursued a career in language, literature, or philosophy (which would, in some way, shape, or form be my choice of a more liberal arts oriented degree) I could do as much to help people. Maybe that's a delusion, but it's my delusion.